I'm back. Sadder,wiser, and a little more jaded (if you can imagine).

Hi everyone. Marc and I just returned from Gulf Shores, AL from a restful few days with my dear sister and brother-in-law. Sometimes, only family will do. As you will recall, I was unceremoniously robbed last Wednesday. Some loser crackhead decided it was easier to smash my car window and grab my purse than it is to work. I hope he put the $40 cash and Coach purse (a gift from my beloved husband) to good use. The asthma meds, the prescription glasses? Well, I was more than happy to donate those to your pathetic cause. Truthfully, I hope the genius boughtt a bad batch of crack, but it's not very Christian to say that, is it?

I'm going to climb up on my soapbox for just a minute here, so bear with me. I was so upset when that happened last week. I can't even explain why I was as upset as I was. I know people, as a rule, suck. Yes, there are exceptions. I love the exceptions. I think they are God's kind reminders that life is good, after all, even when it sometimes really sucks. The $40 cash the loser got cost us about $3000 by the time all was said and done. But it cost a little bit more. I am jumpy now, paranoid, distrustful of people. I worry constantly whether this thieving moron has enough sense to use the social security numbers he also stole for bigger and badder purposes. I will never, EVER, walk a nature trail again. So thank you, you bottom-feeding leech. In short, I am a mess.

In spite of the anxiety and nightmare of last week's theft, my husband and I still took off the next day and went to spend a few days with my sister and brother in law at the beach. I was nervous about it. I worried about the house, I worried about anything and everything. But we went, and relaxed, and we were soothed and grounded by family.

I am back. Sorry for the extended period of silence. I had to get my head screwed back on straight. I still believe in good, I still believe in karma, and I still believe in "do unto others." So loser crackhead thief, whoever and wherever you are, I sincerely hope someone does unto you as you apparently do unto others with no compunction or remorse. Life, as "they" say, can sometimes be a bitch.

Author's blog

Visit http://www.caroletownsend.blogspot.com/ to get a taste of southern humor, fried up just the way we like it. And be on the lookout for the book, coming summer 2011!

Welcome to

Southern Fried White Trash

a book by Carole Townsend

Southern Fried White Trash takes a humorous look at the subculture in our nation affectionately known as "white trash." No, white trash is not indigenous to the South; we just do it a little quirkier and with a little more flair than other regions do. Enjoy Southern humor? Put your feet up and get ready to hoot...